Ava Make Up Essentials

Words I can say to make someone trust me with their secrets?

How can I get somebody that I deeply care about to open up to me? I never spread secrets, this person who I want to open up to me has been hurt in the past and doesn't trust people in general. what are some things that I can say and do to make them comfortable and trust me. I heard that saying somebodies name constantly can make them warm to you. what else? such as 'why don't you trust me' or what? best answer wins 10 points.

Public Comments

1. Gain their trust... Saying something to get a reaction (trust) is called manipulation. Your actions speak louder then words. Be trustworthy and maybe he'll grow to trust you. "I'm here if you need me" and passive things like that, that arn't confrontational are better then things like 'why don't you trust me'
2. coming from someone who has been hurt in the past and struggles to open up to people.. Generally the best thing to do is give it time. Don't try to force them to trust you. Make sure they know that you are not trying to get them to talk for YOUR benefit. Remember, it's their life so it's important to not take it personally when they don't want to discuss it with you. It may not be because they don't trust you personally. Try explaining why you want them to talk and how it will benefit them. It's not always best to suggest that you will help them... sometimes this makes them feel like you think you are their doctor/psychologist as opposed to a friend. Talk them through it. Be there when THEY need you.. most people will open up eventually if they have a reason to :)
3. Let the person learn they can trust you in their own time. If you press the issue, say you are trustworthy, or ask why they don't trust you, you just come across as pushy and it makes you appear suspicious. If they've had their trust broken in the past, then you'll have to earn it...not beg for it. If there's something they want to share with you, they will.
4. Of course you have to give it time, but there are some things you can do to help the person know that you are really listening to them and taking them seriously. They are testing you out to see if you are genuine or not. One of the things you can do it restate in your own words things they say to express how they feel or believe about different things. For example, if the person says "I'm really mad..." you can say "I understand you're ticked off right now." Another thing to do is to avoid "Yes, but..." in a conversation. It may have the effect of negating anything that person was trying to say. In turn, the person may feel less secure about talking to you. Avoid saying "Why don't you trust me?" That may come across as being threatening. Remember, they don't have to trust you. It's a choice they make based on their own comfort level, not on what you want. If you push them, it may guarantee that you will never gain their trust. Also, there is a limit to how much you should say the person's name. Using it during a conversation is important, especially at the beginning of a conversation. Be cautious about using too much of a good thing though. Using it too much can easily drive a non-trusting person away, because it may become almost too intrusive and makes the conversation seem "staged" in some way. The less natural the conversation, the less trust is built.