Ava Make Up Essentials

Secrets...?

I was just talking to my 2 and a half year old daughter about good/touch, bad touch, while I was getting her dressed and talking about how she shouldn't have any secrets with any grown ups and the whole this is your body talk. I told her that she should always tell mommy if she has any secrets and I asked her if she a had any secrets and she said to me " have secrets with Cathy".I said Aunt Cathy? She said " yeah shh.." I don't know what to think of this. My sister in -law is a bit wierd but what the hell. Should I be freaked out?

Public Comments

It could be that they have a secret but it has nothing to do with the "this is your body" talk. I would try talking to your daughter again and maybe trading her secret for one of yours ( a pg one of course). Don't jump to conclusions. It could be nothing. Your daughter is 2 and a half so you have to keep that in mind. Good luck 2 u
Try to get the secrect out of her.
well try to get her to tell you the secret and then freak out if it was a serious issue
Did your child ever tell you the secret she has? Play this out a bit until you know more... The secret could very well be a secret ice cream she was given or a secret code she was told to remember when she wants to go to the toilet.... Take it slow and get her to tell you more before deciding on action
I think you should talk to your wife and have her talk to your daughter. If your daughter told you she has secrets with her aunt especially during the conversations about touching there could be something wrong. In my own opinion I believe children should not keep secrets from the parents because they are too young to have secrets of their own. Especially if your daughter is only 2 and innocent anyone can take advantage. Your daughter comes first and you have to keep her safe.
That's a tough call at her age. I have a friend who has all kinds of silly "secrets" with her little niece, just for fun of course, so it could be something totally innocent like that. But the fact that she said that to you during a talk about this subject is somewhat worrisome, because children her age are prone to just spill out the truth when asked. I would bring the subject up again, whenever you feel like it's a good time, and ask her what the secrets are. Hopefully, it will be a bunch of silly stuff!
First of all, remember that a 2 1/2 year old isn't going to relate your 'secrets' with inappropriate touching right now. She might just hear the word secret, and remember that Aunt Cathy told her a secret. It might not have anything to do with touching. I was molested as a child, so this is sorta coming from experience. Just ask her what the secret is. Try bargaining, tell her a 'secret' in return. Show her the parts of her body that are a 'no-no areas' (either point to them on her, or show her on a doll), then ask her if anyone has ever touched any of her 'no-no areas.' IF she says yes, ask her when. If anyone takes her to the bathroom, they might have to touch a 'no-no area' to wipe her and make sure she's clean, so make sure that you ask her when and where. If you suspect child-abuse, you need to report it immediately! Check into your s-i-l's background. You might not find anything, or you may find what you're looking for. As parents, we have to keep our children protected, but remember that things in their minds are much more simplified than ours. Also, if you don't trust someone, don't EVER leave your child alone with them. Always trust your 'mother's instinct.' Watch how people act toward your daughter. The best thing you can do is be observant and watch who your daughter is around to prevent sexual abuse. If it turns out that it has happened, report it immediately, and be prepared to deal with lots of interviews. You will be an immediate suspect, and so will your husband. It's really hard to prove child abuse in children so young, unless they have actually been penetrated by something. Then there is bleeding and pain urinating. If she's been rubbed only, it's pretty hard to prove, even with your daughter's testimony, becuase she is so little, so she would probably be deemed an unreliable witness if she isn't just completely brushed off. If you really suspect your s-i-l, then you don't need to be around her. Again, I was molested as a child, so I know what I'm talking about. I would rather let you know everything and have you be prepared. If you need anything, feel free to e-mail me.